Connection and Health Begins Before Conception

Connection and Health Begins Before Conception

In my practice I work with individuals and couples at all stages of parenthood. Bringing awareness and intention to conception is sometimes overlooked… unless there is difficulty in conceiving. All new babies coming in benefit from being welcomed before conception, during the pregnancy and during the birth and after. Many traditional cultures have ceremonies and protocols for welcoming new life; through my sessions with families I help them find their own way to create that welcoming space. It is delightful and surprising when couples are successful in conceiving after they have worked out unresolved mis-attunement and disharmony with each other, job stresses and other mental and emotional challenges to create a space for a baby to come into

Babies coming into life can relax and settle into love and safety if they can feel their parents working together in mutual support and cooperation. When there is a strong “village” supporting the parents, first the parents and then the baby can relax even more. Pre-conception is a great time for parents to understand, integrate and transform some of their own wounds and survival strategies no longer needed — to learn how to give their children the connection and safety they may have not received themselves. Pre-conception and pregnancy are a great time to find motivation for transformation.

My work is based in the recognition that infants and children are fully sentient beings expressing preferences, wants and needs and are storing memories somatically from even before conception. The sperm, the egg and the DNA contained in them store the memory of experiences of the ancestors and parents. Parents’ attitudes and experiences in the months leading into conception are formative for the baby.

Many of us were not welcomed and planned and are conceived into anger, grief, overwhelm and adversity. Making repair in family relationships is important for a felt sense of connection and safety but this understanding is often not extended to the pre-born and infants. I work with parents at all stages, through conception to birth and after, to make repair with each other and  their little one. Adversity, mis-attunement and ruptures are a normal part of the human experience. A loving protective parent who knows how to regulate and make repair can become a healthy buffer for the child to build resilience for the challenges they will experience in life. In my work with families I have been pleased to help parents “listen” to the stories of their babies and children and their emotions about those experiences.

In the time of pre-conception/conception the following are some adverse/challenging experiences the effects of which can follow us into adulthood, in relationships, in our capacity to learn, in self-regulation and physical and emotional health (or lack of health):

    • Unresolved feelings of parents from a previous pregnancy loss

    • Anxiety, grief and loss from the death or serious injury of a family member or close friend

    • Anger fear and ambivalence of one or both parents upon discovery of the pregnancy

    • Ongoing overwhelm, anger, anxiety and depression of one or both parents

    • Discord and abuse in the relationship of the parents

    • Difficult medical procedures, particularly for the mother

No parent is perfect and no humans experience a life without adversity but we can have an intention to be a “good enough parent” through self reflection, understanding our own trauma and triggers and seeking help in transforming our own parenting. Each family establishes their own choices and values — my work is to support connection and safety.

Through private sessions, Womb Surround group workshops and classes with individuals, couples and families, my intention is to create a safe non-judgmental space where adults and children can feel the “welcome” they want and deserve. Together we help transform challenges to more connection and mutual support and cooperation.

Visit www.eileensendrey.com to find out more about private sessions in my office, classes and workshops. I offer on-line classes available for parents and care-givers world-wide.

I Want to be More Present in My Life -- What Does that Mean? How do I Do That?

I Want to be More Present in My Life -- What Does that Mean? How do I Do That?

I want to be more present in my life;

I want to be more present with myself;

I want to be more present with my family and friends;

I want to be more present at work or school.

What does that mean? How do I do that?

Presence is the matrix through which we experience all aspects of our human experience. It is fundamental to all relationships with oneself, family and friends, work-life, a sense of meaning and purpose in life and connection to community, nature and to the divine. When we are “present” our mind body and feelings are working together in alignment and we experience more peace and clarity. Without presence we don't know that we actually exist, nor do we have access to any real information or understanding of what is happening with ourselves or anyone else. Anyone who cultivates presence in their own life and work can, with acceptance, empathy and understanding, relate to others more easily.  

How do I learn what it feels like to be present?

Presence is something that needs to be experienced directly. I can’t tell you what it feels like, just like I can’t tell you the taste of chocolate by describing it. The reason I practice Breema is that it gives me a straightforward, commonsense approach to learning what it feels like to be present and how to return to that over and over again. The reason I teach Breema is to offer that same opportunity to others. As a teacher, I also benefit from the structure of the class and the participation of the students for my own striving to be more present. Sticking with the practice has increased my capacity to stay with and come back to an experience of this moment. 

Some of us - like artists, gardeners, athletes, mountain climbers, worshipers in prayer, etc - feel present in activities we love and become fully absorbed in. Outside those moments how do I learn to be present in every day life?

There are some activities in which we become fully attentive and absorbed with a feeling of presence seemingly given to us. The great thing about learning Breema is that I don’t need to feel like I’m “in the flow” or happy or satisfied to move in that direction. Breema offers a well-organized, step-by-step, complete system to cultivate an experience of presence and health and how to become less identified with our unconscious reactive states. Although in the beginning it helps to be in a class setting where we can focus on learning the Principles and the method, eventually we can learn to be present anywhere in any mental, emotional and physical state.

  

If I don’t identify myself as a New Age type does this still pertain to me? If I view myself as a “practical type” why should I spend my time, money and energy in learning how to be more present?

Bringing mind body and feelings together in the present moment is ultimate efficiency. I’m not wasting energy with all parts of myself battling with and disconnected from each other. I have more energy, clarity and receptivity. As I begin to include myself, whether it's personal or professional setting, it becomes the starting point for receptivity within my day-to-day activity. Receptivity connects physical outer experience of relating to other human beings and information to an inner world of understanding and cultivated wisdom. In such moments, through openness and understanding one can know exactly what is needed in the moment. This moment can be a one of innovation and creativity where everything learned in the past can be synthesized into a new form, perfect for what is needed just then.

If I am interested in improving my physical health, how does presence support me?

Much of modern western medicine and psychiatry is based in acute crisis and symptom management. Understanding the essence of health requires an approach which includes a whole view of a human based in knowledge and understanding ranging from a rich history of mankind exploring consciousness up to the very latest advances of modern science. No aspect of health can fully be understood in separation from the whole. The study of Breema, and its emphasis on body mind connection and presence helps us, in all healing modalities to integrate this rich, ever developing, reservoir of information and understanding in the moment to have receptivity and insight into what is needed in the moment to support true health.

The practice of Breema helps us with inner organization of our mind and feelings and relaxation of the body toward presence and harmony in all aspects of our lives. Whether one participates in a Breema event once, or more ideally, on an ongoing basis we can benefit by gaining understanding of ourselves and fundamental principles of health. I invite you to come to class in Morgan Hill to discover how you can benefit. My next class is this Thursday, October 24, 2019. Click my Classes Calendar for more details. For more articles and information about Breema worldwide visit www.breema.com.


The Child Who is Not Embraced by the Village Will Burn it Down to Feel its Warmth

The Child Who is Not Embraced by the Village Will Burn it Down to Feel its Warmth

As someone who works with people to integrate and heal early developmental trauma I've been pondering the increasing number of mass shootings that seem to be plaguing our country. Many of them are young men, loners, sometimes swept into some ideology that really makes sense to them, without the reflection and support of calmer. older and wiser influences. Particularly since one of these shootings happened in my own part of the world I have felt so heartened by the way people are supporting each other, tracking those who might need help and coming together to heal as a community.

... and then there is the question of how to address the problem? There are calls for stricter gun laws... that is probably a good idea. There is talk about mental illness and how to deal with potentially dangerous people off balance finding their way to firearms... but the truth is that the problem and solution are much more complex and nuanced than we can address talking fast at each other, not listening and reacting. In fear an anger we are trying to figure out whose fault is this? Who do we shame and punish? Unfortunately our rush to shaming and punishing (and defensiveness that ensues) impedes our ability to really to check in with what the larger issue is and possible ways to address it wholistically.

There is an African proverb: "The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth" 

Mass shootings are part of a larger spectrum of social issues stemming from young people who don't feel safe, loved/connected and who aren't being initiated into a wisdom culture led by trustworthy elders, tracking each child in the village. We have meticulous ways we track academic performance but who is tracking the state of each child's nervous system, social development and the care of their soul. This can't be the responsibility of the parent or teachers alone. As humans we aren't designed for families being so alone, disconnected from the village.

In small pockets there are parents seeking out teachers and healers that are reviving rites of passage for young people and creating networks of support. Young people need to be tracked and guided to be able to use their passion and fearlessness constructively instead of destruction. The question for all of us is how do we listen to these children and all children with our hearts and embrace all children as our children? How do we slow down and create enough space in ourselves to be able to really listen to and find effective ways to create support for families who need help?

Become the Captain of Your Own Health

Sometimes when a new client comes to me and says, “My neck hurts, can you help me?” I wish I could put a TV monitor to my brain and share with them the last twenty years of my life. I wish I could show them years of work with Chiropractors, Acupuncturists, Osteopaths, Massage, Breema, Yoga, meditation, Ayurvedic practitioners, Homeopaths, Hypnotherapists, Physicians, Reiki, sound therapy, cleanses, a counselor, a Rolfer and an Orthodontist (In addition to all my own reading and research). I ‘d like to relate how I found each practitioner, what worked for me, what didn’t work for me and the insight gained from each method and each practitioner. Through a holistic approach addressing mind, body and emotions I have learned a healthier approach to my life in both healing acute conditions as well as consistent discipline of health maintenance. Furthermore, I find that many others have similar stories of educating themselves and finding the support they need.

Pre-Cyclers Car Kit

A few years ago in a grocery store, my daughter ran out ahead of me in embarrassment as I gathered up my groceries in the wide skirt I was wearing because I had forgotten my cloth bags in the car. Of course, when I got to the car, I transferred the items into the bags. I really love puzzles and games and I have made Pre-cycling a constant challenge and brain exercise, trying to figure out how to use the least amount of disposable material possible. Recycling has made it's way to the forefront of our attention and restrictions on disposable plastic bags are beginning to be legislated. More and more products and containers are being manufactured from post-consumer waste -- Eco consciousness and sustainability is becoming hip :-) In the spirit of this growing respect for the planet that we are a part of, I invite you to play the Pre-cycling game with me.

Toward Harmony in Relationships

I just found this article I wrote years ago and since I've neglected my blog I thought I'd publish it here:  There is no shortage of books and advice on relationships. You can read, listen, collect information and still not find satisfaction with your husband, wife, parents, children and friends. We are so filled with input collected throughout our lives, so filled with desires, guilt, fear, repulsions, interpretations, it is difficult for us to experience any moment without a dozen different voices in our minds whispering (or shouting) different versions of how we should respond to any situation. Many times, we react automatically, from habits not chosen consciously, picked up from who knows where. For years I sought guidance and wisdom trying to find that one person or book which could tell me how to be, how to live with others, until I found that that wisdom resides within myself.