The Child Who is Not Embraced by the Village Will Burn it Down to Feel its Warmth

The Child Who is Not Embraced by the Village Will Burn it Down to Feel its Warmth

As someone who works with people to integrate and heal early developmental trauma I've been pondering the increasing number of mass shootings that seem to be plaguing our country. Many of them are young men, loners, sometimes swept into some ideology that really makes sense to them, without the reflection and support of calmer. older and wiser influences. Particularly since one of these shootings happened in my own part of the world I have felt so heartened by the way people are supporting each other, tracking those who might need help and coming together to heal as a community.

... and then there is the question of how to address the problem? There are calls for stricter gun laws... that is probably a good idea. There is talk about mental illness and how to deal with potentially dangerous people off balance finding their way to firearms... but the truth is that the problem and solution are much more complex and nuanced than we can address talking fast at each other, not listening and reacting. In fear an anger we are trying to figure out whose fault is this? Who do we shame and punish? Unfortunately our rush to shaming and punishing (and defensiveness that ensues) impedes our ability to really to check in with what the larger issue is and possible ways to address it wholistically.

There is an African proverb: "The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth" 

Mass shootings are part of a larger spectrum of social issues stemming from young people who don't feel safe, loved/connected and who aren't being initiated into a wisdom culture led by trustworthy elders, tracking each child in the village. We have meticulous ways we track academic performance but who is tracking the state of each child's nervous system, social development and the care of their soul. This can't be the responsibility of the parent or teachers alone. As humans we aren't designed for families being so alone, disconnected from the village.

In small pockets there are parents seeking out teachers and healers that are reviving rites of passage for young people and creating networks of support. Young people need to be tracked and guided to be able to use their passion and fearlessness constructively instead of destruction. The question for all of us is how do we listen to these children and all children with our hearts and embrace all children as our children? How do we slow down and create enough space in ourselves to be able to really listen to and find effective ways to create support for families who need help?

Become the Captain of Your Own Health

Sometimes when a new client comes to me and says, “My neck hurts, can you help me?” I wish I could put a TV monitor to my brain and share with them the last twenty years of my life. I wish I could show them years of work with Chiropractors, Acupuncturists, Osteopaths, Massage, Breema, Yoga, meditation, Ayurvedic practitioners, Homeopaths, Hypnotherapists, Physicians, Reiki, sound therapy, cleanses, a counselor, a Rolfer and an Orthodontist (In addition to all my own reading and research). I ‘d like to relate how I found each practitioner, what worked for me, what didn’t work for me and the insight gained from each method and each practitioner. Through a holistic approach addressing mind, body and emotions I have learned a healthier approach to my life in both healing acute conditions as well as consistent discipline of health maintenance. Furthermore, I find that many others have similar stories of educating themselves and finding the support they need.

Pre-Cyclers Car Kit

A few years ago in a grocery store, my daughter ran out ahead of me in embarrassment as I gathered up my groceries in the wide skirt I was wearing because I had forgotten my cloth bags in the car. Of course, when I got to the car, I transferred the items into the bags. I really love puzzles and games and I have made Pre-cycling a constant challenge and brain exercise, trying to figure out how to use the least amount of disposable material possible. Recycling has made it's way to the forefront of our attention and restrictions on disposable plastic bags are beginning to be legislated. More and more products and containers are being manufactured from post-consumer waste -- Eco consciousness and sustainability is becoming hip :-) In the spirit of this growing respect for the planet that we are a part of, I invite you to play the Pre-cycling game with me.

Toward Harmony in Relationships

I just found this article I wrote years ago and since I've neglected my blog I thought I'd publish it here:  There is no shortage of books and advice on relationships. You can read, listen, collect information and still not find satisfaction with your husband, wife, parents, children and friends. We are so filled with input collected throughout our lives, so filled with desires, guilt, fear, repulsions, interpretations, it is difficult for us to experience any moment without a dozen different voices in our minds whispering (or shouting) different versions of how we should respond to any situation. Many times, we react automatically, from habits not chosen consciously, picked up from who knows where. For years I sought guidance and wisdom trying to find that one person or book which could tell me how to be, how to live with others, until I found that that wisdom resides within myself.